


your whatever

by hahahaharlequin



Series: TSUKIKAGE Week, 2020 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Gen, I Tried, M/M, Sort Of, TSUKI_KAGE_WEEK_2020, TsukiKage Week 2020, bc i want to now shutup, implied SugaYama, inaccuracies abound for the sake of the plot, mentions of Sugawara Koushi, mentions of Yachi Hitoka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:21:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hahahaharlequin/pseuds/hahahaharlequin
Summary: TSUKIKAGE Week, 2020[Day 3]: "Don't go running away" +TFR's Writing Prompt Number 191:"You're- you're crushing my spleen.""You don't even know where your spleen is."
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Series: TSUKIKAGE Week, 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817125
Kudos: 77
Collections: The King and the Commoner





	your whatever

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, title is only borrowed from [this song](https://open.spotify.com/track/1IunpAQG8ifLoJ7qUeYdVh?si=e61YHwXPQ0C_ZNJ3p0uHgg), and not exactly related to the fic
> 
> p.s. i kind of got sidetracked while writing this, so if u notice how i kept going around in circles, that was it, i'm sorry

Kei had half a mind to throw open the door to his superior's office, but Chief Inspector Sawamura Daichi was still a fearsome man behind the smiles and warm hugs he liked to implement on everyone in the precinct who looked like they needed it. Usually it was Kei who was on the receiving end of it, with the perpetual frown he wore on his face, and maybe it was also because of his passive-aggressive behaviour regarding office supplies and certain furniture.

But this morning, it seemed, that someone else was contending for Asshole of the Month. 

  
  


Captain Daichi greets him politely when Kei has forgone kicking down the door, and instead knocking three times, then opening it to let himself enter. The chief is smiling warmly as he gestured towards a plush seat, so Kei went straight towards it, and for sure. He felt like he was sinking in. 

"Sergeant Tsukishima," he greets curtly, and Kei could only sit up straight, as if he was a schoolboy about to be reprimanded by his teachers. "I'm sure you're wondering as to why I've called you in on your day off."

Kei winced inwardly at the thought that he was roused from his sleep, just on his second run of his REM cycle when his phone wouldn't stop ringing. He thought it was an alarm, but he wasn't an idiot to set one of his already very few days off, so when he rolled over his bed to grab and check it, he fell off his bed just as he read his good friend and coworker Yamaguchi's name flashing wildly on the screen.

He answered the call at the one last ring before it ended. 

"What--"

He couldn't even finish a word, with Yamaguchi firing a series of panicked, yelling that seemed to echo from his end, so most probably he was making the call inside the washroom.  _ Gross.  _

_ "You need to get here, quick, Tsukki! Daichi-san said he has a special case for you, and only you to work on. Please, please,  _ **_please_ ** _ come to work!" _ Yamaguchi had prattled, which was probably the gist of it all, so Kei was thankful he got that last part. 

He could say no, and refuse, but that would make the captain-- who  _ verily much preferred it _ if people called him  _ Daichi-san, _ but Kei knew better than to get all chummy and close with his commanding officer-- think he was incompetent and a wuss. And really, it would be seen as defiance, since Yamaguchi is an Inspector, so a Police Sergeant like himself couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't even think of saying no. 

"Yeah, I'll be there in an hour." He'd said so placidly, sleep still seeping into his bones. He'll have to get a nice, long bath and a tumbler of hot coffee to perk himself up.

  
  


Kei winced, but nods, agreeing that he had no idea what he even came in for, on his day off no less. His boss claps his hands together, and lets out an exasperated sigh. Kei copied him, but only inwardly, in case he'd be deemed rude and untoward. 

He had a grave expression on his face when he looked at Kei-- "HQ will send in an Inspector from Sendai City, to our precinct. They need us to cooperate with him in solving a drug case, I think."

_ He thinks? _

"And I'm assigning you to him to guide him around here," he concluded, and emphasised it, even, by placing a firm hand on Kei's shoulder. "I'm counting on you, Sergeant." 

And that was when Kei knew-- this wasn't going to end well.

  
  


Initially, he tried to get Yamaguchi on the case, instead, seeing as he was the more approachable one between the two of them. And that he was an Inspector himself, maybe they'd get along and talk about... Inspector-ly things. But the Captain waved the idea away like he was swatting at a fly.  _ "Yamaguchi-kun has to do that road safety seminar for the little kids at the daycare centre, he'll be too busy with it!" _

Yeah, too busy making out with one of the teachers; probably that refreshing guy who once visited the precinct to ask the captain out for lunch, then for the rest of the day, Yamaguchi was falling all over his feet, and dropping things, and was all friendly with the captain, so probably, that's what'll be keeping Yamaguchi from this Babysitting job. 

So in the end, he agreed to it, much to Kei's chagrin. But he was also promised that he'll get, and _ feel _ that extra bump in his paycheck, so that's a plus, then. Something to look forward to, seeing as his niece's birthday was coming sooner than when he had last checked his calendar. 

But, working and getting along with strangers was never Kei's forte. In their childhood, it was Yamaguchi who had been the more introverted and shy between the two of them, with Kei having to do negotiations and arguments for both of them. As they grew older, Yamaguchi had become more affable, and pleasant to talk to, whereas Kei had gotten himself to shrugging and glaring his way around high school, and even Police Academy. 

Now, on his day off, he's sitting at his desk, slouched low enough that no one would notice there was someone in his chair. He wanted to chase after that dream he was having just before Yamaguchi came and ruined his plans. 

He has another hour until his Little-Big Brother project from HQ will arrive.

  
  


He was nudged awake by another one of the other sergeants, Hinata, who was snorting at the idea of extra work for Kei. Well, Kei really didn't mind the shorty much, who would challenge anyone taller than him. He avoided Hinata's high-five, before he was ushered by the captain's secretary, a tiny lady named Yachi, for a briefing. 

Just when both Yachi and Hinata disappear into the briefing room, Yamaguchi is running into the office, with Captain Daichi right behind him. A tall, skinny guy in a tailored suit matched his steps, nodding at whatever the captain was telling him. 

Kei stood, and straightened his own tie and shirt. He tried to pat his hair down, but they chose to be messy and all-over the place, so he left them as they were. He'd lost a bet with Yachi that he wouldn't cut his hair for a whole four months, and it was only halfway past rhe agreed punishment, which Kei earned after a prank gone wrong. 

At the moment, Yamaguchi was all sweaty from all his running, and Captain Daichi could only sigh at his appearance. 

"Sergeant Tsukishima, I would like you to meet Inspector Kageyama, from Sendai City, HQ," Captain Daichi announced. Instinctively, Kei extended his own hand to shake. 

The other guy,  _ Inspector Kageyama _ , did the same, and shook it once. "Knife-- nuff--  _ nice to meet you!" _ He greeted, rather so awkwardly and loudly, that Kei couldn't stop himself from snorting out a laugh. 

"You're not very good at this greeting thing, are you? I hope you do your work accordingly, and not as clumsy as my first impression of you." He couldn't help it. He couldn't help himself, so he just let the retort roll off his tongue like it's second-nature, like they've known each other their whole lives. 

Captain Daichi sighed exasperatedly the moment Inspector Kageyama lunged forward to grab at Kei, who had already swerved his body away from the Inspector's clutches. 

This time, Yamaguchi sighed. 

  
  


It's been two months now, and Kei had already gotten a haircut, but Inspector Kageyama was nowhere near closing in on his perp. And it was getting to the, surprisingly, perfectionist inspector. With Kei instructed to be practically glued at the guy's side, they both had gotten to know each other better, and got to know each other's pet peeves. 

In Kei's case, it was Kageyama's blasted habit of bouncing his leg when he was getting impatient. That, then led to Kei doing that which grated on Kageyama's nerves, which was tongue clicking. So sue him, if Hinata's claims were to be trusted, that he sounded like a clock with all his ticking when he was getting impatient, but watching the clumsy, yet unexpectedly bigshot Inspector back at HQ crunch time, and skim through folders upon folders of casefiles, and character profiles. 

Apparently, back at HQ, Kageyama was some bigtime Inspector who solved cases left and right, that he was called  _ "the King" _ . Kei found out that the nickname was often used to refer to him by jealous Inspectors like himself, and that often struck something in Kageyama, so Kei chose to... limit his use of the noxious nickname. But, he noticed that it worked whenever he needed Kageyama to pay attention to him. 

At the moment, they were huddled over Kei's desk, where a mountain of files stood triumphantly, as if mocking them. And really, Kei couldn't read anything anymore since he hasn't had anything to eat for almost six hours, save for the crackers Yachi offered them, and two bottles of energy drinks, which they both downed in less than a minute. 

Kei couldn't  _ read anything,  _ **_at all_ ** , with Kageyama bouncing his leg, shaking the desk in the process like it was in the epicenter of an earthquake. He was exaggerating, but he really couldn't stand it. 

"That's enough, King. Let's go home already," Kei kicked Kageyama's leg under the desk, jerking him out of his focused stupor. 

He blinked owlishly, looking around, as if disoriented still. He brought both his hands up to rub at his eyes, which Kei swatted away before they even made contact with his face.

Another one of Inspector Kageyama's habits that got on Kei's nerves. 

"Come on, get up. Up, up you get, you lazy bastard, we're going nowhere with you half-asleep on your feet. Now, up!" Kei stood first, shaking his legs awake, then reached over across his desk to grab Kageyama by the arm, and pull him up, and out of his chair. 

It was a method Captain Daichi used to show his support for everyone in the precinct, but in all honesty, it only gave Kei hives, and the mindset that he would get  _ another one _ , if he didn't get his head back on, and get to working. And it was effective enough that Kei was able to close some cold cases from time to time, just to avoid getting bear-hugged by Captain Daichi. 

So now here's to hoping it would have the same effect on Inspector Kageyama as it did on Kei. 

"What are you doing?" Came the disgruntled query of the now, jumpy Inspector. Merely seconds before Kei had enveloped Inspector Kageyama in a hug, he looked dead on his feet. But now--

"This is a hug. I'm hugging you so you feel invigorated, and you can continue working efficiently." Was Kei's robotic response, which he very much so ripped off of his Captain, but Kageyama didn't need to know that. 

The inspector only struggled to break free from Kei's embrace, but something in Kei had awoken, and only squeezed him tighter, pressing him flush against Kei's chest. "You're- you're crushing my  _ spleen." _

Kei only scoffed at that, at Inspector Kageyama's demise, much specifically. "I bet you don't even know where your spleen  _ is, _ " he challenged. He feels the inspector shrug against him.

"What are we?" Inspector Kageyama asked, voice muffled by Kei's own hoodie. His face was angled so his cheek rested against Kei's arm. "Are we friends, now?" 

"I'm your...  _ whatever. _ " Kei all but sighed. 

He really didn't know himself if he and the Inspector could be considered friends now. But the more time they spent together, the more Kei found himself wishing it would never end. 

The moment was only broken when the loud sound of a camera's shutter startles them from their self-induced trance. Turning his head slightly, Kei could see a flash of orange from his peripheral, and hear mischievous laughter coming from Kei's cubicle neighbour, the very same guy who was running around and got the divider shaking with his movements. 

"I'm gonna kill that guy," he hears Kageyama murmur. Kei lets himself chuckle at that. "Sure, just a few more seconds."

After a couple more excruciating, and not to mention embarrassing seconds, Kei released Kageyama from his embrace, and stepped back only slightly. "Well, now. 

Feel like diving back into work? I can get Hinata to get us some food before he clocks out." Kei was already snapping his fingers to get Hinata's attention, who was only in the next cubicle over. Surely, his orange head peers over the divider, eyebrows dancing. Probably because he managed to take a photo of him and Kageyama hugging, and had announced that he had sent it to Inspector Kageyama's superiors. 

He only gets an okay hand sign, then he's bolting out of his chair, just narrowly avoiding Kageyama's grasp. And then, he's sprinting over and around civilians and fellow officers, just to catch up to Hinata. 

"Don't go running away now, King!" 

_ Away from me, _ Kei wanted to add, but he shook his head free of that random idea, and only managed to yell after the Inspector, right before he exited the doors. Kageyama's head pops back in, only to shout back his response. 

"Don't start work without m--  _ Oi, Hinata! Get back here!" _ Then, he was gone. 

Oh well. At least he said he'll be back.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the Japanese police force mistakes and inaccuracies


End file.
